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Relationship vs Friendship | Forum

shemp
shemp Oct 28 '16
What if a relationship works out better as a just friends...

Or if friends can start a relationship it works out better than when they were just friends...

Should they start off as friends or dating when they get the chance to be together...

billyHill Moderator
billyHill Oct 29 '16
wow Shemp, I think i read 3 completely different questions there.

1) if it better being friends, then you either be friends or completely ruin everything between you.

2) if a relationship ( I'm assuming a physical relationship is what you mean) works and adds to the friendship, that makes it great. Just don't blow it by doing something stupid. That goes for all parties involved, not just you.

3) I believe all relationships start as friends, regardless of the dating equation or not. The only expectation I see that is different between any other friend and a date is a physical relationship ( holding hands, kissing, etc, etc... this is a family site). so in my estimation all relationships need to start as friends.
Ariana_CH
Ariana_CH Nov 11 '16
@billyHill I go for your 3) all starts with a friendship.
douxbaiser
douxbaiser Nov 13 '16
Haha, nope, all starts with a friendly POKE
bros259
bros259 Dec 10 '16
why not both
adventurer55
adventurer55 Dec 29 '16
That is difficult...I think between a man and a woman, "just" friendship can be the sequel to a relationship, if the passion has faded. Maybe I am too insecure and narcissistic, but if a woman I am falling in love with insists she just wants to be friends....well, that hurts me so much I will stop seeing her. Unlike some people, I do not enjoy being a victim, and do not want to be confronted with her coolness day in and day out. It is terrible to be in a situation (workplace, classes) where you have opened your heart to someone and been rejected--a good reason not to search for romance in such places. I wish I had followed my own advice but when I was younger, sometimes the rejecting woman came to love me after all.

On the other hand, my experience has been that when passion has faded, women start to hate you, hurt you, and drop you--despite all the wonderful times you have spent together. Even though they lost interest first, they unfairly want you to go on wanting them, dispassionate though they have become. It is amazing how all the love that we have experienced is suddenly meaningless to them, nothing left at all, and they become mean and vindictive.

ParaAramid
ParaAramid Jan 23 '17
The key is how does it feel when you first do meet...and what are you in search of, what are they in search of?  Off fhe bat, if you are looking for different things, if will likely result in disappointment...my former wife gave me some good advice too, just her opinion of course, but to paraphrase, your lover can't be your friend, and your friend can't be your lover.  That's not to say you can't transition from one role to the other, but you can't be both at the same time...and i have come to agree with this.  Once you do transition however, there is no going back...at least not that i can envision. 


ashku6629
ashku6629 Feb 7 '17

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