I want to be clear on definitions: I am grouping together intelligence, strength and success as similar traits for the purpose of this post, as they often go together.
To answer the question of why men do feel more attraction for the less ‘smart and successful’ woman, I want to establish one thing: A lot of people tend to think it’s because..‘he’ (the man) cannot match an intelligent woman’s intelligence. Maybe he’s threatened! Maybe he wants the sex to come easily and conveniently, without having to think. Maybe he just doesn’t think much of himself and what he has to offer, so he wants a woman who totally relies on him, to have perceived control.
These aren’t reasons pertained to attraction, though; these are reasons related to a man’s personality and values – not attraction. And attraction is the topic we are currently talking about. (I will address why some men choose more successful and in control women in another post).
Regardless of a man’s personality, the principles for attraction remain the same: In men and women, differences cause attraction and passion. So, for attraction to occur, in general, you’ll have a radiant human being (not in control, as radiance isn’t in control), and a strong and present human being who is attracted to the radiant human being.
Two highly radiant humans aren’t usually attracted to each other, and neither are two very present, masculine human beings; there has to be the difference for the ‘spark’ of attraction to exist.
The other layer of truth…There is another layer of truth to this question of why men feel more attraction to the woman showing up as less intelligent than the woman who is showing up as smart, successful and in control. That layer of truth involves accepting that in many cases, a woman’s actual intelligence is not the problem – women are taught to believe that it is the problem, and so they sometimes get angry at men, blaming them for not being able to ‘handle’ a smart woman. Well, that’s good for the smart woman’s ego – but it’s not good for being truthful about the matter. The truth is that when women use their smarts and success as a ‘mask’ to be worthy of the very love that they crave, they can’t be attractive and inspiring to the men they want to be attractive to, because it’s impossible; they’re not even being their natural selves; because if they were being who they are (which comes effortlessly before they started using success to make lots of money and to make themselves feel worthy), then attraction would not ever be a problem.
Have you seen the movie Avatar? Isn’t it just a beautiful movie? Remember Neytiri, the main female character? Remember how grounded, wide and wild her feminine energy was? Yes, our women are not of her ‘species’, but she had that natural energy of a tribal kind of woman who had something to fight for, something to believe in that she truly, naturally cared about. It wasn’t that she spent her days being something she is not. She was and is so sexy, and so inspiring, because she’s present with her depth, her natural ‘cat-like’ feminine nature.
Our women have lost a lot of that for the sake of bringing in an income and for fitting in to today’s world. It’s ok, it’s necessary; but it’s not necessary to be ignorant of this fact and its potential consequences. Love still
