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Is it true that men have less attraction for the strong and successful WOMAN? | Forum

selwynq
selwynq Jun 6 '16

I want to be clear on definitions: I am grouping together intelligence, strength and success as similar traits for the purpose of this post, as they often go together.


To answer the question of why men do feel more attraction for the less ‘smart and successful’ woman, I want to establish one thing: A lot of people tend to think it’s because..‘he’ (the man) cannot match an intelligent woman’s intelligence. Maybe he’s threatened! Maybe he wants the sex to come easily and conveniently, without having to think. Maybe he just doesn’t think much of himself and what he has to offer, so he wants a woman who totally relies on him, to have perceived control. 


These aren’t reasons pertained to attraction, though; these are reasons related to a man’s personality and values – not attraction. And attraction is the topic we are currently talking about. (I will address why some men choose more successful and in control women in another post).


Regardless of a man’s personality, the principles for attraction remain the same: In men and women, differences cause attraction and passion. So, for attraction to occur, in general, you’ll have a radiant human being (not in control, as radiance isn’t in control), and a strong and present human being who is attracted to the radiant human being.


Two highly radiant humans aren’t usually attracted to each other, and neither are two very present, masculine human beings; there has to be the difference for the ‘spark’ of attraction to exist.


The other layer of truth…There is another layer of truth to this question of why men feel more attraction to the woman showing up as less intelligent than the woman who is showing up as smart, successful and in control.  That layer of truth involves accepting that in many cases, a woman’s actual intelligence is not the problem – women are taught to believe that it is the problem, and so they sometimes get angry at men, blaming them for not being able to ‘handle’ a smart woman.  Well, that’s good for the smart woman’s ego – but it’s not good for being truthful about the matter.  The truth is that when women use their smarts and success as a ‘mask’ to be worthy of the very love that they crave, they can’t be attractive and inspiring to the men they want to be attractive to, because it’s impossible; they’re not even being their natural selves; because if they were being who they are (which comes effortlessly before they started using success to make lots of money and to make themselves feel worthy), then attraction would not ever be a problem.


Have you seen the movie Avatar? Isn’t it just a beautiful movie?  Remember Neytiri, the main female character? Remember how grounded, wide and wild her feminine energy was?  Yes, our women are not of her ‘species’, but she had that natural energy of a tribal kind of woman who had something to fight for, something to believe in that she truly, naturally cared about. It wasn’t that she spent her days being something she is not.  She was and is so sexy, and so inspiring, because she’s present with her depth, her natural ‘cat-like’ feminine nature.


Our women have lost a lot of that for the sake of bringing in an income and for fitting in to today’s world. It’s ok, it’s necessary; but it’s not necessary to be ignorant of this fact and its potential consequences.  Love still

darkshadow0001
darkshadow0001 Jun 30 '16
I don't think so.  I think it can go either way...
spectrumAU Moderator
spectrumAU Jul 25 '16
It also goes this way...

(found on Facebook)


 In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?' Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes. She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?' The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognise himself in me. He may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. When she finished her spill, she looked at him. He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot. She replied, "I'm worth a lot". 

Quarnicus
Quarnicus Jul 26 '16
The whole deal was just to double the tax base
billyHill Moderator
billyHill Jul 26 '16
wow, I would have walked away from her @ "I don't need a simple man....." that is all I am and all I ever want to be. She can be worth all she thinks she is. I won't fault her for it. Consequently it doesn't mean I'll believe it, either
Kimo
Kimo Jul 26 '16
Who cares who's more famous or rich? 


Unsmart women are the same as unsmart people in general they are boring - who wants a dumb one who pass their day with nonsence like religion or middle age beliefs? I need a muse someone that elevate me to new highs and not bloc me in dark holes lol

Leezy
Leezy Jul 29 '16
Personally, I am more attracted to highly educated women than what would be considered pretty women. I really do find uneducated women a turn off no matter how they look or even how successful they've been or how rich or famous they are!
The Forum post is edited by Leezy Jul 29 '16
Timothy58
Timothy58 Aug 21 '16
Personally, Im hoping to find a lady that is highly intelligent and can pay her own way. That would compliment me. I'm not wanting to be in a contest. I'm wanting to be happy. And I want my other half to be happy as well. My hope thru this is that we compliment each other by having common interests and abilities. I want someone who will "keep me on my toes" so to speak. If I am to be honest with myself, I need that type of mental stimulation from time to time, to keep myself in check. Therefore it will accent me. Make me a better person. For instance, I truly believe In my higher power (God). However I'm real lazy when it comes to getting up Sunday morning and going to church. A strong Christian woman told be just what the doctor ordered. She's gonna be in that pew early, Everytime the church doors open. If I want her to remain with me, I'll have get off my lazy butt and get up when she does Sunday morning so I can be beside her at church as we practice our religious beliefs. In doing so, as time goes by, she will have assisted me in becoming a really good Christian. And a better person. Life is sort of the same in every aspect. If I wish to be with that person, I better be a better person myself. Women were indeed put here to assist man. Believe me, I for one, can use all the assisting I can get. Just have to be true and honest with yourself. We men really do need women. In a lot of ways. I couldn't even get my bills paid on time right now, if not my caring sister, who helps me keep up with them all. It's one of my bad things that a woman in my life is far better at. I think God put a lot of thought into it, when he created woman. They all have my utmost respect. I had raise one of my children from birth. Try that sometime, men. It will teach to respect all mothers! I personally guarantee you of that. A mother, to me, has a far harder job than I everrrr wish to tackle again. They really do.
Sailor
Sailor Aug 25 '16
The question is somewhat vague. 

 A human who has not been consumed by the power they exert on their environment and those around them but is struggling to use it 'well' is very attractive indeed.  And as I am male and straight to see this in a woman is sexy as hell.

Jantjedpx
Jantjedpx Oct 14 '16
I need a strong woman! 
davemac
davemac Oct 17 '16
Never get bored of interesting conversation, and to get that you need opinion, belief, education and the strength to express yourself.  Talking 'hats & handbags' gets boring real quick.
isle
isle Nov 9 '16
not so.

opposites attract.

weak men are attracted to strong women

lissam
lissam Nov 20 '16

Quote from Kimo Who cares who's more famous or rich? 


Unsmart women are the same as unsmart people in general they are boring - who wants a dumb one who pass their day with nonsence like religion or middle age beliefs? I need a muse someone that elevate me to new highs and not bloc me in dark holes lol


Well as a woman the same goes for a man, I can't be with a doorknob, that can keep a conversation, and has no imagination or vision.

bros259
bros259 Dec 10 '16
Strong yes successful as long as they have a job and are trying
user_48890
user_48890 Dec 12 '16
NO necesarily its up to chemistry
adventurer55
adventurer55 Dec 27 '16
It`s not about being successful or rich, it's about being feminine or masculine. There are thousands of very successful women (for example, making movies, singing, doing sports, doctors, teachers) who come across as sexy, sweet, demure, and really attractive.

On the other hand, does anybody male or female like a resolute, dominant, pushy woman (or man) who just has to get her own way all the time?

Latinadventurer
Latinadventurer Dec 31 '16
I can imagine that men with low self-esteem may feel threatened by a powerful and successful woman but it is a very limiting feeling. My personal thinking is that the secret to such a relationship is open communication.
As a business owner I can say in all honesty that if I was the smartest person in the business then I am in heaps of trouble! Rather than feeling threatened or less of a "MAN" because a lady is strong and successful, why not promote these qualities to advantage. Every person has strengths and weaknesses so work together to become a united and formidable couple supporting each other with what each does best.
LadyJ
LadyJ Feb 2
In the past yes, but not so much anymore, because of the love of money. 


Yet a well mannered gentle woman is always more attractive, no matter what her looks, no matter what her personality or bank balance

konstadinoss
konstadinoss Feb 6
no i dont think so,to me it works as an attraction.i realy like this type of women
Lytharia
Lytharia Feb 7
MMMmmm ... Balance it all returns to balance. Things like Ying-Yang have been around in our history for ages because it is truth.  It is the compliment of a woman to a man, not her strength, success or intelligence. If a man shies from a strong and a more dominant personality, some women display, then either that personality and those traits don't work for him or he is not ready to admit to himself that they do. That can lead to a man feeling uncomfortable or even intimidated. But the same can be said for a woman.

A woman can be intelligent, strong and a success and not be a dominant personality. That does not make her a doormat or in any way less than a more dominant personality. I have yet to find a true 100% personality either way in men or women.  Like the example above, that woman was strong and presented as a dominant, strong and intelligent personality. However, her desire was to be submissive to a man that she could trust and admire. So was she lying by presenting herself as a strong dominant personality?

I dont think so. I think in business women have been forced to some degree to put their femininity on hold. Cut their hair, wear a suit, act and talk like a man. Things may be changing, but that was the challenge. Most men wont take a woman seriously that does not "look" the part for whatever predominantly male profession there is.

Again, balance a man must be honest with himself about what he seeks and truly desires in his partner. They may have a less dominant personality and seek a dominant woman in their life. That is what it is all about. Finding the one that fits ... Your ying to their yang or visa versa, with a small part of the other held in their heart too, so the strong isn't rude or mean and the less strong isn't a door mat.

That works with every aspect of a relationship. Some are better at finances, cooking, cleaning or pick something lol.  As long as they both compliment each other and both pull their "weight" ... what works for them is what works for them. Okay .. I am stepping off the soap box now. LOL
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