Easing your mind. | Forum
davidj2
Feb 11 '16
Ask for a selfie of them holding a flower, piece of paper with your name on etc. Be willing to do the same. If they say no, something is wrong, if they sound too perfect they are not being honest. Don't let your heart rule your mind. Be patient do not rush remember the bad guys can be well practiced charmers. Oh I'm single..
Admin Marisa
Feb 11 '16
Like Wind mentioned, picture (selfie) is not sufficient. They can photoshop any pic. It has to be done on a webcam, live, in front of you: they should write your name on a piece of paper and show it into camera, to prove its a real live webcam, and not a stolen webcam recording played back on you.
The Forum post is edited by Marisa Feb 11 '16
davidj2
Feb 12 '16
Yes I know what you are saying. But is meant to be next day when they are comfortable with how they look. They do the sellfie there and then. Ask them to hold a box under their arm while holding a cup ( what ever you choose at the time out of the blue) in the other & take it there & send as quick as possible.
Moderator billyHill
Feb 12 '16
if you don't want to mandate they use video to prove they are real, then you need to treat this individual as if you have never met in person. There are 2 ways to prove if a person is real. One is live video, the other is meeting in person.
Photoshop ( or other similar programs... I use GIMP myself, and PS) an image can be done in seconds, not even minutes. You can ask for all kinds of stuff but if the person you are talking to isn't willing to go on video chat live..... then you have to wonder what they are hiding, and why are they hiding it. Assuming this is a person you are considering having a serious / long term relationship with, why would they hide anything from you?
Of course we are not talking about attempting a video chat after a week of meeting someone on the internet. If you live close enough to each other then going out for coffee or ice cream is a real possibility.... why would a live video chat be any different than meeting in person at the coffee shop?
Photoshop ( or other similar programs... I use GIMP myself, and PS) an image can be done in seconds, not even minutes. You can ask for all kinds of stuff but if the person you are talking to isn't willing to go on video chat live..... then you have to wonder what they are hiding, and why are they hiding it. Assuming this is a person you are considering having a serious / long term relationship with, why would they hide anything from you?
Of course we are not talking about attempting a video chat after a week of meeting someone on the internet. If you live close enough to each other then going out for coffee or ice cream is a real possibility.... why would a live video chat be any different than meeting in person at the coffee shop?
davidj2
Feb 12 '16
Personally i'm just looking for a growng heart warming friendship to start with , that i will make clear straight away. Scammers are very impatient they want to reach their target very quickly , taking time means having to scam more people . Being allowed into a persons life i put their happiness first , that is the main reward i seek ( as it should be ) a conversation without any kind of pressure . The picture behind the screen , in time , truth & eventually trust is whom i first want to meet . Knowing someone is looking forward to speaking with me equally is a fantastic feeling . This is mainly my aim , when i learn to use this damn site . I've never used one before but i enjoyed speaking to a scammer when they turned up on my Facebook page recently , until they ruined it . They actually said they wanted to marry me on the first day lol .
The Forum post is edited by davidj2 Feb 12 '16
davidj2
Feb 12 '16
You know you sound like this , don't get involved at all ! it will all end in heartache in the end ! Every one cannot be trusted ! Judge everyone ! Don't even trust your photos with a friend !!!! I really want to give comfort & joy to someones day , lift there spirits if they have problems , brighten up their day if i can . Turn a tear of sadness into a tear of joy is a wonderous feeling i hope can share with one or more eventually . As much as i may want to jump into a relationship with a beautful lady , the chances of me being right for them in real life are more likely bleak . So i accept that is a long way off to start with & will hope even if they begin a life with a partner they will still want to enjoy talking with me . I cannot travel , i do not drive & have a low budget so have no expectations above frienship .
davidj2
Feb 13 '16
I do not expect any specific answer to any question , just hopefully an honest one otherwise whats the point of asking ( this is fun win090 i hope neither of us offend each other at all ) because in the long run we are really saying the same thing just in a different order & way . I think that is just our upbringing you are German I am English it is not much different to religion . I am hoping this is just hoping you can accept !?
davidj2
Feb 13 '16
I cannot remove my grumpy profile , so i send a message to show my personality that is what frienship is about . I don't care if they look gormless i am happy to turn tears of sadness into tears of joy if i can .
davidj2
Feb 13 '16
I just do not speak to ones without a photo saddly , i want to lower any risk of scammers or hackers as much as possible ....
davidj2
Feb 13 '16
I never want to pressure anyone into anything they do not want to do !!! i certainally would not insist on meeting them ( anyone can be a rapist ) i would be calling them a liar by even suggesting it ...!
Moderator billyHill
Feb 14 '16
^^^ that is why meeting in a public place for the first time is so important.... she could be the rapist, or serial killer for all you really know. this gets to be a lot more difficult when the "friendship" or "long distance relationship" is far enough away it takes a flight to reach the destination.
I spoke to the woman who is now my wife for many months using email, the telephone, video chat, and snail mail before ever traveling half way across the globe ( 16 time zones, so a few less than half way) to meet her in person. As wind said, we knew nothing other than internet "handles" or "user names" until we actually met face to face.
I stayed in a hotel close to her home the first time I flew to meet her. I did not want to infringe on her space, and there were other reasons as well, in addition to the fact that the truth was we had just met in person. Regardless of the fact we had spent so much time together in other forms of communication.
We've been married now over 9 years. here is the latest thread about us : https://datingnmore.com/site/forum/topic/596 . there is another one titled 8 years in the same forum.
I'm not saying my way of doing things is right for everyone. I am saying it worked for us ( me and the Mrs.). It protected us both, and allowed us to create a lot of dialog before we ever met in person. Thus giving us a lot of opportunity to get to know each other prior to meeting.
I don't want to sound argumentative, but I do want to comment that I don't see Wind's posts as seemingly "don't get involved at all ! it will all end in heartache in the end ! Every one cannot be trusted ! Judge everyone ! Don't even trust your photos with a friend !!!!"
I read his posts and see a lot of truth in them. Maybe I'm used to Mr Murphy being everywhere so I've learned to expect the worst, yet hope for the best.... I don't know. Wind is a lot of fun, most of the time. I don't think he takes things personally.... if he does then he hasn't shown it as a backlash in the public forum anyhow.
The forum is a good place to let others get to know you while you get to know them as well. It surely isn't as active as it has been in the past, which is why I originally suggested to you to that you search using the search function near the top of the page, and send PM's to people.
good luck, amigo.
I spoke to the woman who is now my wife for many months using email, the telephone, video chat, and snail mail before ever traveling half way across the globe ( 16 time zones, so a few less than half way) to meet her in person. As wind said, we knew nothing other than internet "handles" or "user names" until we actually met face to face.
I stayed in a hotel close to her home the first time I flew to meet her. I did not want to infringe on her space, and there were other reasons as well, in addition to the fact that the truth was we had just met in person. Regardless of the fact we had spent so much time together in other forms of communication.
We've been married now over 9 years. here is the latest thread about us : https://datingnmore.com/site/forum/topic/596 . there is another one titled 8 years in the same forum.
I'm not saying my way of doing things is right for everyone. I am saying it worked for us ( me and the Mrs.). It protected us both, and allowed us to create a lot of dialog before we ever met in person. Thus giving us a lot of opportunity to get to know each other prior to meeting.
I don't want to sound argumentative, but I do want to comment that I don't see Wind's posts as seemingly "don't get involved at all ! it will all end in heartache in the end ! Every one cannot be trusted ! Judge everyone ! Don't even trust your photos with a friend !!!!"
I read his posts and see a lot of truth in them. Maybe I'm used to Mr Murphy being everywhere so I've learned to expect the worst, yet hope for the best.... I don't know. Wind is a lot of fun, most of the time. I don't think he takes things personally.... if he does then he hasn't shown it as a backlash in the public forum anyhow.
The forum is a good place to let others get to know you while you get to know them as well. It surely isn't as active as it has been in the past, which is why I originally suggested to you to that you search using the search function near the top of the page, and send PM's to people.
good luck, amigo.
CdnTeacher416
Mar 25 '16
What happens when a suspected scammer appears on video chat with you? Is there any way to believe he's real or has he arranged some other way to disguise his intentions?
I was contacted by a man on the dating site LavaLife around the first of this month. He and I had some very nice conversations since that time but someone on another site dealing with scams told me that he was a scammer. They even sent me to a site where all of his pictures were posted. When I asked him about it he stressed that they were all stolen from HIS site for use by other scammers. He then did a video chat with me and everything seemed to be fine.
He's supposedly a surgeon who is working for NATO and the UN in Syria and today the topic of money came up. His story is that before he took his most recent job in Syria, he had divorced his wife and, rather than let her get all of his money, he told me that he had send a large sum to the UN in a type of trust account. The only unfortunate this about this trust account is that it is only there for a certain length of time and, with time running out he wants to find someone to look after this money until he comes home at the beginning of June. This is where I come in and although I don't have to cash any cheques I still have a weird feeling about the whole thing. I told him that IF I agreed to help him that I wouldn't be taking any of the money....that I would be just holding onto it until June.
Am I doing the right thing or should I just cut off all contact with him immediately?
I was contacted by a man on the dating site LavaLife around the first of this month. He and I had some very nice conversations since that time but someone on another site dealing with scams told me that he was a scammer. They even sent me to a site where all of his pictures were posted. When I asked him about it he stressed that they were all stolen from HIS site for use by other scammers. He then did a video chat with me and everything seemed to be fine.
He's supposedly a surgeon who is working for NATO and the UN in Syria and today the topic of money came up. His story is that before he took his most recent job in Syria, he had divorced his wife and, rather than let her get all of his money, he told me that he had send a large sum to the UN in a type of trust account. The only unfortunate this about this trust account is that it is only there for a certain length of time and, with time running out he wants to find someone to look after this money until he comes home at the beginning of June. This is where I come in and although I don't have to cash any cheques I still have a weird feeling about the whole thing. I told him that IF I agreed to help him that I wouldn't be taking any of the money....that I would be just holding onto it until June.
Am I doing the right thing or should I just cut off all contact with him immediately?
Moderator spectrumAU
Mar 25 '16
Gosh that is so real a scam. Do not do what he asks. Do not go back and speak to him as he will only give you another excuse. They are very good at convincing excuses. Not only delete him but block him from contacting you at all. ...Yes, immediately!
We all here understand how you feel as most of us have been in the same or similar situation. Don't speak to him again and certainly don't let on what gave his game away. We don't want them improving their schemes for the next person they try to scam.
You may feel uncomfortable or humiliated by his actions but know that you're in good company here and a little discomfort is small and better price to pay than losing your own savings to this cheat. In fact, be proud that you have taken action to stop.
I'm guessing that the site you found his pics on was romancescam.com. I can assure you that all the scams reported there are real and posted by honest people like you and me.
CdnTeacher416
Mar 25 '16
No actually the pictures were on a different site....can't recall the name right now though.
Moderator spectrumAU
Mar 25 '16
There are other scam reporting sites.
The fact remains, this is a scam and you should stop all contact.
CdnTeacher416
Mar 25 '16
So what could happen to me if I held the money for this guy? Legal or criminal charges?
CdnTeacher416
Mar 25 '16
Well he supposedly does not want me to deposit the money into my account so there is really no way he can access said account in the end. He said that the money would arrive in two briefcases from United Nation (whoever they are)....one case holds $300,000 in cash and the other a cheque for 1.8 million payable to him. This is all so confusing to me.
My contact at United Nation is unitednation167@gmail.com. I've never heard of this outfit but when I did a search on them the results indicated that they were involved in somewhat shady dealings.
Maybe I should take the money and then turn it over to the feds once it arrives. LOL
My contact at United Nation is unitednation167@gmail.com. I've never heard of this outfit but when I did a search on them the results indicated that they were involved in somewhat shady dealings.
Maybe I should take the money and then turn it over to the feds once it arrives. LOL
