good question Joan, and good answer Marisa.
I only read the first post at the RS, but it does contain the info I was looking for. Everyone will go through these stages to varying degrees before they can overcome any obstacle in life ( IMHO anyhow). The stages are:
1. Denial: Example - "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me!"
2. Anger: Example - "Why me? It's not fair!" "How can this happen, I
hate this world!" (Or I hate my scammer, or I hate the person who
informed me, or I hate all scammers-Africans-Russians-liars, etc.)
3. Bargaining (Or rationalizing): Example - "Just let me live to see
my children graduate."; "I'll do anything, can't you stretch it out? A
few more years." I will give my life savings if..." (Or, "Maybe if he
confesses and asks my forgiveness, or maybe if he really loves only me,
or maybe if he's not too bad looking or too young for me, or maybe he
was forced to do what he did because of hardship . . .)
4. Depression: Example - "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?";
"I'm going to die . . . What's the point?" (Or, I'm really an idiot,
stupid, dumb, etc. Certainly not worth anything to a real lover.)
5. Acceptance: Example - "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight
it, I may as well prepare for it." (I'm not going to let this happen to
anyone else.)
While I might change a word or two here and there, it is a direct copy/paste from the first post.
I also don't want to make it seem like a simple math ( or science) problem in school that you look at, ingest, then realize the formula and are ready for the test on the subject matter the next day. It is a HELL of a lot harder to do when you are the person doing the work than it is to read it on paper.
since we are all human, and all different to varying degrees it may take someone a week or month to heal, others may take years or never. It is a truth only each person can realize for themselves.
The biggest hump for me to get over was the fact that I was had been had..... I had to realize first that I had been a victim of someone else's crime before any of the rest of it would fall into place. And honestly I am not a good victim at all. It took me months, possibly longer to go from realizing I was scammed, to realizing (and now hating) the romance scammers are the scum of the earth.
I can suggest to you Joan, that whatever you did before you were scammed do it again. Go back to your "normal" life. put one foot in front of the other and walk. Hopefully you are wiser now. One day after a lot of footsteps you will realize you are far away from the scammer you were hurt by. And I think another truth is that romance scammers in particular rob your emotions more than your money. Maybe I can say that better if i say it hurts less to have the money taken than it does the emotions..... at least for me and a lot of folks I know who now are in the anti-fraud industry.