Thanks for the answer, Wind..... I'm half happy to hear it is strange. I've never had anything like that happen with tomato's .....
my lemons grow very well. they blossom in February, and most every flower gets pollinated. Very few just up and fall off the tree with no bud left behind for a fruit.
It seems like the tomato plant flowers don't open at all, or don't open long enough to get pollinated. I have tons of bees that love a lot of the cactus flowers in the garden, so I'm sure they'd love the tomato flowers too.
The lemons are the only other fruiting plant I have right now, that I know of. Lia planted some type of "fruiting tree" ( her words), but she can't remember what it is. Its only been in the garden a year or 2 now, and its about 3 feet ( 1 meter) tall. I don't know how many growing seasons it will need before it starts flowering/ fruiting. Not too many fruit trees grow fruit in the first year or 2. her tree grew from seed to about 6 inches the first winter, then when spring came in this year it went from 6 inches to 3 feet in the past 6 months or so....
all the cactus, roses, and lemon trees grow well, and need pruning regularly. (at least annually) on the roses and lemon tree. I prefer to let the cactus grow until the neighbors complain they bother them
edit to add: I forgot Lia had also planted a "bitter gourd" ( Asian squash) vine last summer. It grew and fruited so much she couldn't give the fruits away before they went bad. that plant's life is now over, and she'll have to remove about 50 feet of vine is has spread all over the garden before she starts more plants in that area of the garden